I am talking about my Mister Sir Fudge Esq!!! If you haven't met him yet, get your damn asses up and find out about him!!! I'm talking this way, because it fits Mister Fudge. He is a very unique kitty (and he will hate me for calling him a kitty, but to me, every cat is a kitty), as, for God's sake, he likes to swear and loves his booze!!! A lot of booze... But most of all, he hates hugging or kissing!!! When I wanted to give him a *nose tap* he asked me "ARE YOU NUTS???" So, he strongly refuses to be a part of our hugging-community on Twitter and #Pawcircles are disgusting him, he thinks they're just to fit human needs and for their boohoo!
Isn't he lovely??? Yes, he is!!! Believe me, Mister Fudge has a BIG heart!!! He is a Miesepeter (as we call someone very grumpy in German), but he is a nice one!!! Before Christmas he put on a Santa hat, because I was indignant at his lack of Christmas spirit!!! He did it just for me even though it caused him pain!!! Pain??? Pure agony!!! Okay, he kept posing with a Vodka bottle, while wearing the Santa hat, but that's Mister Fudge!!! And when I came out as his Rudi, it brought tears to his eyes, and he was not afraid to confess it to me!!! He is a kitty riot, he brings the action to Twitter, cause he might be a rather inconvenient fellow to some on there!!! But he doesn't care, he just keeps swearing his ass off, grumbling about #Pawcircles!!! But he does it with a wink and a smile...
That's why I love my Mister Fudge!!! He might be vain, he might be grumpy, but he's honest and never fishing for compliments too!!! Never??? ... Okay, let's say never!!! And I know for sure about his hearty side!!! He is from Austrian origin and he has a favour for Sissi, the Austrian empress!!! I don't know, if you all know her, but there are movies about her life and they're so corny IT HURTS!!! And now imagine that old Miesepeter watching his Sissi dvds, while having a whole bottle of Scotch, keeping on swearing like a bluff sailor tattooer!!! I'm sure that one day, Sissi will open his heart and he will be ready for a hugging orgy!!!
But how did it come to the name "Meerschwein Extraordinaire"??? I don't know why, but in some way Mister Fudge shows me a lot of respect!!! He strongly believes he's better than me, as I'm just a little piggy. And believe me, he won't refuse to tell me so... But he takes my advice and often leaves me more than surprised about it!!! That means a lot to me, as you know, Mister Fudge is a very honest kitty and not scared of being uncomfortable!!! And he gives me names, that show his respect for me. He often calls me Graf Schnille von Meerschweinstein, which is a rather blown up name, as Graf is an Earl, but Mister Fudge loves aristocracy and anything with an intellectual touch!!! Guess why he calls himself an Esquirer??? But he also started calling me a Meerschwein (guinea pig) extraordinaire, which might be blown up too, but it's unique - just like Mister Fudge!!!
Now everybody, swear the hell out of it and meet Mister Fudge, he won't bite you!!! Won't he...???